Editorial: Loving yourself with complete confidence
Updated: Mar 31, 2020
The magazines and much of social media tells you to show yourself love and to love your body. They then proceed to try and convince you that your body needs to be a specific size with certain curves and muscles in specific places in order to be loveable. They say you’ll love yourself once you reach a certain weight and certain height. Once you achieve a certain appearance then it’s okay to post your pictures and be happy. As someone who has fluctuated drastically in weight and also tried beauty products and diets to fit this societal standard, I have experienced a variety of reactions in response to my changing outer appearance.
I am currently the most confident I have ever been in my life and yet have a body that many would consider to be undesirable for themselves. I’m confident not only in my appearance, but my skills and abilities too. I am happy and excited about life. I feel passionate and my positivity is received well by those I interact with on a regular basis. In the past I’ve gone through periods of weight loss and got compliments of “wow, you look great.” Yes, I do look great, but I looked good before too. The people giving these comments are trying to be supportive; these people care about me. However, these words of encouragement are primarily focused on my appearance, which is finally acceptable.I realized that my inner feelings did not match the praise I received. I wasn’t excited, I was miserable. So then one thing I decided to do was think of myself more positively. With the stresses of university, I have definitely gained weight since my gap year when I last lost a great amount of weight, yet my positive image of myself has only blossomed. Every night since then, I have smiled at myself in the mirror before going to sleep. This little ritual is something to ensure that the last thing I see is myself looking happy. My last look is one of positivity, even if others throughout my day might make comments with a differed vibe. They say to fake it till you make it. Even if I started off unhappy and was originally disappointed in my reflection while forcing a smile at myself, I now check myself out.
I still have some doubts periodically, but I fell in love with myself. My body carries me through my extremely busy schedule every day – it gets tired, so I need to rest it, sometimes I need more nutrients or to do some stretching, but I always pull through. Caring for myself is listening to my own needs and doing whatever I can so I am able to share that appreciation of myself and my life with other people. For the first time ever, I have a boyfriend. I am prepared to share myself with someone because I feel that I actually deserve to be loved. It’s a fairly new relationship, but I am incredibly cheerful and not afraid of being a burden. In the words of RuPaul, “if you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?”
Loving my body no matter what is important and sharing that positivity about myself with others is key to being a fantastic role model for others too. I’m overall mentally strong and strive to be both fierce and fabulous. Being kind to yourself can start with a simple smile, and I can’t wait to show myself more love in the future.
*Originally posted by The Cord on February 14, 2019